CHARACTER NAME: Joshua Chatri Strauss
NICKNAMES: Some of his teammates call him by his last name, but most people just call him Josh
AGE/DOB: 17; March 21st
YEAR: Senior
BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn
GENDER/PRONOUNS: Male; he/him
SEXUALITY: Straight, probably? Most people are straight, so.
HOMETOWN: Two-shoes, California — a wizard-predominant town on the central coast known for its absurdly-abundant berry crops and equally-absurdly quirky locals. If you're a muggle, there's only one reason to stop in Two-shoes and that's to gorge yourself at STRAWBFEST, a huge, open-air, strawberry celebration that occurs every Sunday in August. Otherwise, it's... kind of a dump off 101 that smells a little like manure.
To the wizarding world, though, Two-shoes is a hub of industry and excitement. Ignore the 'dilapidated K mart' vibes; that's just a front to keep the riff-raff out. Once you're actually inside, you'll see that Two-shoes, CA. is a real city and a hip, exciting one at that. The type of place that 19-year-olds run away to to live out their dreams of fame, fortune, and independence. To draw mundane parallels: imagine if Gilroy was actually, secretly, wizard L.A.
The lite poo smell is pretty much inescapable, regardless.
APPEARANCE: Wears shorts irrespective of weather.
HEIGHT: 5' 10"
BUILD: Beefy boy
PB: Chai Hansen
INSPO: pinterest What would others say is their most prominent personality trait — what's the first thing people notice about them?Honestly, the first thing most people notice about Josh is his smile. It's nothing special, certainly not some Mona Lisa shit, but he smiles big and easy and often, usually with all his teeth. It's unusual for a boy, especially one built like Josh; men, as it turns out, aren't supposed to be happy, and he's close enough to adulthood that folks tend to look twice.
Maybe that's how he's able to coax strangers into talking to him. With his open demeanour and tendency to idle, endless chit-chat, people tend to feel at ease around Josh, an extrovert who never seems more content than when he's making new connections. Customer service comes naturally. It's why he's so happy bagging odds-n-ends at Dis & Dat. Folks tell him about their day and their families and their secrets because, well, it's just Josh.
And they're not wrong to. But it is a little funny, the way people simultaneously see Josh as an open book and an appropriate recipient of their sordid details. Mostly, they underestimate him, he thinks. Which is fine with him. He likes being in the know. Besides, maybe he'll meet his soulmate over a six-pack of diet Pib someday.
How would this character describe themself? What do they think are their best and worst qualities?If Josh were asked to describe himself, he'd probably shrug and say, "Pretty chill, I guess." It's little basic for a person with a reputation for having... a way with words (note: not a particularly good way, but a way nonetheless), but he gets usually self-conscious when he thinks about himself. Josh tends to define himself in terms of his relationship to others: he's Jordan's big brother, Ramona's best friend, Wildgultch's Beater, etc etc.
But that's something he likes about himself. Josh is loyal to his people; it's probably the Thing he finds most important. Fair-weather friends are traitors and traitors are evil and that's the long and short of it, as far as he's concerned. There are rare situations where Josh might switch teams or blow a whistle, but it's a sign that things are seriously fucked up. His whole moral compass revolves around doing right by the people in his life. He'd do a murder for his mom (for example) and if you wouldn't, he thinks you might just be a monster.
He doesn't love that he's kind of a nobody, an underachiever. Josh knows he's not a genius and frankly, he's never wanted to be; his aspirations pretty much begin and end at "cool apartment, bunch of friends, full-time job of any kind." But... sometimes he wishes he was like the kids in his class who are Going Places, who are Meant For Greater Things. He's meant for mediocracy, and while he's made his peace with it, he can't help but wonder what it'd be like to hear he was MANAGER material instead
What drives them to action? Doing good? Getting rich? Receiving praise?Impulse, mostly. He's also pretty suggestible; don't let him hang out with the class troublemaker unless you're ready to see him in detention tomorrow too. It's one-half extremely limited self-control and one-half a secret hope that, in doing things for people, he'll finally fill up that cracked-cup part of his brain where he puts sustaining connections to others.
How does this character handle tense social situations like arguments/fights?Defuse, defuse, defuse. Josh is quick to crack a joke or tell a story or do... anything to distract from the argument that's about to pop off. Which isn't to say he's afraid of conflict — actually, he doesn't mind when things get a little rough and tumble — but he doesn't like to throw hands unless he has to and he has no problem playing the fool if that's what it takes. He has 8 siblings, guys; he knows how to weave his way through a little chaos.
If they're Muggleborn, how have they adapted to life as a witch or wizard?Josh loves wizard culture and, despite being immersed in it for the last six-or-so years, still tends to approach things with a wide-eyed enthusiasm that gets him mistaken for a tourist. Even very normal things strike him as outlandish and altogether wonderful; he relishes every fizzing whizbee he eats and every Quodpot game he watches. Tell him "it's a wizard thing," and Josh is always down to try it... even if it might otherwise strike him as unpleasant or unsafe.
Which is pretty impressive, considering where his bar for "unpleasant or unsafe" is already at. If you're wondering whether or not Josh would put a lightbulb in his mouth, wonder no more: he would, without hesitation, especially if you told him that it was a magic lightbulb in any way.
FUN FACTS:
Poor volume control
Often smells STRONGLY like tropical fruit vape juice
Randomly scats when his brain isn't actively occupied, so catch him being like "Za-dop blam DOO!" +/- little butt wiggle as he carries his oatmeal back to the table at breakfast
Somehow manages to be eminently kissable despite the above, and always seems to be in the throws of some torrid, PG-to-PG-13 affair with the laydeez
Party boy, borderline infamous for his secret pipeline of Charles Shaw wine LANGUAGES: Questionably fluent in English. Remarkable proficiency in Mermish. Some rudimentary Squatch, getting better every day. Absolutely NO French (too hard).
HOBBIES: Collecting quidditch cards, doing vape tricks, writing acrostic poems, sharpie-ing smiley faces on people's lockers, completely lacking object permanence, daydreaming, surfing and skating and longboarding, making garlic bread, eating garlic bread, annoying his friends, ill-advised kisses, rolling in the mud, wearing Tevas in the snow, doing 80% of his homework and then losing it before he can turn it in
SKILLS:QUIDDITCH: Josh loves quidditch. He loves flying and he loves sports and honestly, discovering that wizards figured out how to smush the two together was a real game-changer for him. He's not the best of the best —he'd never claim to be— but he is strong, hard-working, and really happy to be there, and that makes him a pretty good person to have on your team, all things considered. Playing Beater was a great fit for him; he needed a position that kept his attention and actually tuckered him out at the end of the day; a born Keeper, he was not.
CUSTOMER SERVICE: He actually does want to hear about your great-aunt's dog-sitter's parakeet's gout and everyone can tell by looking at him
LANGUAGES: One time, when his middle school Quidditch coach told him he talked too much, he said "The tongue is the strongest muscle in the body," and then kissed his own biceps and god help him, there wasn't a DROP of irony in it. Josh's infant brain picks up languages quickly and intuitively. Unfortunately, this also means he's that asshole who develops an accent after twenty minutes of being on vacation.
SKATEBOARDING: And other board-related methods of transportation. His longboard has a wolf painted on the bottom.
BANKSY JUNIOR: Josh loves to leave little "inspiring" messages to his peers on the back of toilet stall doors, etc. He'll leave these touching salutes to bad taste anywhere, and he's always carrying a handful of sharpies to facilitate this hobby. He loves it and thinks it may be his calling, but also refuses to confess to being the culprit because 1.) it's better when it's anonymous, isn't it? and 2.) he's in detention enough already as it is. Dont 4get 2 luv urself!
BASIC COOKING: The kid makes a mean quesadilla. PB&J? Oh shit, he's got the peanut butter-to-jelly ratio NAILED. And sure, maybe he doesn't know how to sous vide an egg, but he can fry one up in a fuckload of butter and he never, ever breaks the yolk, so maybe it's not such a stretch to call him a chef.
FAMILY:Father: Jesse Straus, 48, manages the Two-shoes Trader Joes.
Mother: Nin Straus, 46, parking enforcement officer.
Siblings: Seven (7) living brothers and sisters, of which Josh is the oldest. People usually assume that the Strauss family is religious when they see the whole brood, but in reality, his parents are just a dangerous combination of horny and absent-minded.
His twin brother, James, passed away when he was 9 months old. Josh has no memory of him whatsoever, although sometimes he can almost, almost convince himself that he does. His remaining siblings are as follows — Johanna (16), Juliette (15), Joseph (12), Jasmin (12), Justin (11), Jordan (9), and Jack (3). Jojo and Jaz are often collectively described as "the twins." James is rarely mentioned, to the point where sometimes Josh wonders if he made the whole thing up.
He's particularly close with Jordan; Jack, conversely, was the only Strauss kid who was born after Josh left for school and if Josh were really honest with himself, he might admit that he feels like a stranger. Maybe they'll bond when he's older and has a personality beyond "No!" and "Why?" and "Want red car!!!"
BACKGROUND:Josh always knew that Two-shoes was a little different. No one believed him, at first. And of course, why would they? Adults understand that human beings come in all sorts of flavours; 8-year-olds, on the other hand, live in their own little worlds. When Josh said his neighbors dressed funny and talked funny and sometimes disappeared into thin air, his parents thought it was an exercise in escapism. That he was being dumb, a day-dreamer, and ... maybe a little racist, all in equal parts.
He wasn't. He was being observant. And when he got a letter in the mail shortly thereafter, encouraging him to enrol in Two-Shoe's local wizard elementary, boy, did he feel vindicated.
In his mom and dad's defence, his home life was exactly the kind of situation that tends to spark unrestrained daydreaming in kids with any capacity for imagination. Not because it was bad — it wasn't — but because it was mundane. And busy. His mom worked overtime. His dad worked double-overtime. Heck, even tiny baby Josh put a few hours in at the TJ's after school sometimes; frankly, it was all hands on deck in the Strauss household. Despite being born with a personality that was, perhaps, better in-line with the archetypal youngest child, Josh was the oldest of eight; for as far back as he could remember, mornings were an assembly line of hair brushing and shoe-tying and peanut butter sandwiches. And it was... fine. A lot of responsibility for a little kid. Kind of tiring. But loving, and hey, everyone was doing the best they could.
It was just... a little lonely, paradoxically. All that noise and hustle-bustle, but without any of the deep, sustaining intimacy that Josh was already craving by the time he was 10. A little social butterfly, he sought connections with everyone, with the broader world. He wanted a soulmate, a twin. He wanted a life of discovery and of
magic.
And then... he got it.
Maybe it wasn't the best thing for him; if he'd never found out he was a wizard, it's possible that Josh would have kept striving for something special. Instead, he got his heart's desire before he hit puberty. Was else was there to want, after that?
He doesn't have to look after anyone now that he's at school. Doesn't have to be a grown-up, doesn't have to herd kids or stock shelves or do anything at all, if he doesn't want to. He can be an absolute idiot 24/7... and he is, mostly. Except for when he's not. He still works at Dis & Dat, after all, and he still finds himself drawn protectively towards kids who need a helping hand... or at least, like, a service dog.
And it's what he'll keep doing after he graduates, probably. If there's something else out there for him, he hasn't thought about it much. He's happy just chillin' at Peckenpaugh, for now. It's better than Bottleby, which is where he went for middle school after ageing out of Two-shoes' local elementary. The move wasn't particularly deliberate, by the way; he just forgot to fill in the six dozen forms that Bottleby had mailed out to ensure continued enrolment and, like, his
parents sure as shit weren't gonna remember. So.
Turns out, the deadline for Ilvermorny was even earlier than Bottleby's. That left Vercoer (and let's not kid ourselves, they were never gonna take him) and Peckenpaugh, so off to WV he went.
WAND: 14", applewood, and a billywig stinger core. It's a capricious thing, but Josh is inordinately fond and tends to personify it like a friend or a beloved pet.
FAMILIAR: Josh is (sunglass emoji) not allowed to have a pet, but maybe someday. Until then, catch him casting jealous glances at all of his classmates with owls.
CAREER GOALS: Oh, he has no clue whatsoever.
PART-TIME JOB: Josh works part-time at Dis & Dat, mostly as a cashier, although he's been known to stock a shelf or two if the backroom is a little short-staffed. During the summers, he can be spotted smiling big at his local TJ's, so as far as working a till goes, he's maybe an expert. One time, his dad even proudly told him that he was "assistant manager material."
CLASSES:
— Charms: Josh's best core class, by far. Which isn't to say he's brilliant at it, but he finds it way easier than potions or transfig, and he thinks Ms. G is like, super nice. Actually, he should probably be taking Honors-level charms, but he... doesn't want to.
— Potions: Hey! He's! Not good at this! Which sucks, because Josh would love to be a mad wizard scientist. But he's kind of distractible and liable to forget what he's added to his cauldron. Did he already add eye of newt to this? Oh, well. May as well toss in an extra handful, just in case!
— Transfiguration: Math.... hard..... but Ms. Min is a godsend, so he's scraping through the class all right, thanks to her unique way of keeping the teaching style fresh. Honestly, it helps keep Josh engaged. Plus, she's never mean when he writes something MAD dumb on his tests.
— DADA: 100% just took it because it sounded fucking rad, and now he's in too deep to bail. Not half bad, but not half good either. EXTREMELY procifient at at the jelly-legs jinx and... that's about it.
— Home Mag-Ec: Signed up after he dropped History of Magic for being WAY less interesting than it sounds. Absolutely CRUSHING the class. Can boil water like nobody's business. Severe be-do crush on Mr. Lukashenko? It's a bad situation, guys.
— Outdoor Magic: Look, it's P.E.
— Non-human Languages: Josh isn't usually one for honors-type classes, but when he heard about NHL, he knew he was going to have to beg his way in. For Josh, who loves talking and whose spirited appreciation of wizard culture sometimes makes people think he a muggle even when his wand is at the ready, it was basically a dream class. He's not strong at the theory and making sentence trees in Mermish is fundamentally beyond his capabilities, but he makes up for it by having an intuitive ear for almost every language he encounters. If anyone can croak/squawk/screech his way to fluency, it's him.
EXTRA-CURRICULARS:
— Bowling club: Bowling rocks, my dudes. Nothing else to it.
— Muggle magic club: Is this your card? ... no? Aight, how about this one?
— Quidditch: Josh is an enthusiastic Quidditch fan and has been ever since he discovered the sport. So when it came time to try out for the school team, he was pretty much the first in line. It paid off. With his larger-than-average frame and unrelenting energy, his position (Beater) was a natural choice. He's not idealistic enough to think about a career in the sport, but the cool thing about high school, as his father often reminds him, is how much time you have for hobbies and most of Josh's definitely goes to this one.
SORTING?: Over quick and he has no real regrets, although periodically, he finds himself wishing that he'd chosen to join his friends in other houses instead. Of course, he didn't know them when he was sorted, but that's really no excuse.
NAME: camerón
EMAIL: captainkickflips at gmail
CDJ: gooddogs
OTHER CONTACT: drop
TIMEZONE: pst!!
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